5-20-2026 | Forgiving when you've been hurt
"Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing" (Luke 23:34)
It's tough, isn't it?.... That deep ache when someone's actions have cut you… leaving a wound that feels like it will never truly heal…. The desire for justice… for them to understand the pain they've caused… can be overwhelming.
But as we look to the heart of our faith… we find a powerful… yet often challenging call…. Forgiveness.
Think about Jesus on the cross…. Betrayed… abandoned… and suffering unimaginable pain… yet his words echoed with a profound grace… "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing".
This wasn't a flippant dismissal of their actions… but a deep wellspring of compassion rooted in his understanding of our human frailty and God's boundless mercy.
“Forgiving someone who has hurt you badly isn't about condoning their actions or pretending the pain didn't happen…. It's not about instantly feeling warm and fuzzy towards them…. Instead… it's a deliberate act of releasing yourself from the grip of bitterness and resentment.”
How do we even begin this difficult process?
First… acknowledge the pain…. Don't try to minimize or suppress what you've been through…. Allow yourself to feel the hurt.. the anger.. the sadness… Bring these emotions before God… who understands and cares for your broken heart.
Second… understand that forgiveness is a process… not an event…. There will be days when the anger resurfaces… and that's okay…. Be patient with yourself and keep choosing to release the burden… day by day… moment by moment.
Third… pray for the person who hurt you…. This might feel counterintuitive… even impossible at first…. But as you lift them up in prayer… asking for God's grace and healing in their life… something shifts within your own heart…. It begins to soften the sharp edges of resentment.
Fourth… focus on your own healing…. Forgiveness is ultimately for your benefit…. Holding onto bitterness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die…. Let go of the toxic emotions so that you can move forward with your life… free from the chains of the past.
Finally… remember the forgiveness you have received…. We are all recipients of God's incredible grace…. Reflecting on the times we have fallen short and been forgiven can cultivate a spirit of compassion and understanding towards others.